Sigh... I really need to get more tuition assignments. :/

I'm so tempted to online shop but I have to remind myself that I need the money for Fun Times after exam and I really shouldn't spend them all now.

My stupid shift key is spoilt! Grr.

And gek webcast = ULTIMATE BOREDOM. ROAR.

I feel fat, the stress is causing me to break out disgustingly, the weather these days has been perfect for lazing around and sleeping in and even though the bed is always so temptingly near I CAN'T, and I'm overdosing on canned coffee.

This can't be good.

Eleven more days to the end of this hectic semester, the end of the first half of my second year. Time flies unbelievably fast but yet it seems to be crawling right now!

I can't wait to go trekking (argh rain please don't keep up), for my piano to come, to bake once more, to get ready for Christmas (and new year, omg) and simply to get my life back!

ROAR!

1. Spending five whole hours reading one PL3234 chapter. ONE.
2. 14-year-olds. Particularly boys.
3. MAH HAIR.
4. Looming exams.
5. The price tag of a piano.
6. Ditto that of an ipod.
7. My greed! (WHY!!!! Why must I want BOTH???)
8. My lack of self-control which would possibly lead me to be owning both things by the end of this year, but with nothing left in my bank account. :|
9. Little brothers.
10. Being single.


:(

I need a breather. I need something for me to let off steam, somebody who truly and really understands how I've been feeling over the past couple of months, someone I can talk to about how confused I feel about my life right now.

The worst thing is sometimes I don't even understand why I'm constantly feeling this way.

Sorry for the emo-ness overdose, but... I desperately want to get out of here.

Through some past browsing and game-playing, I've somehow managed to acquire a small group of online friends whom I even have on facebook now. It's strange, for I used to think of the term "online friends" as something dodgy and maybe dangerous. I even thought of people with online friends as those who have no real social life and whose friends are only those across the web, silly and untrue as that may be.

But now I find that it's actually quite fun sharing my own culture with them and hearing about theirs. It's interesting learning about time differences and stuff. It's also funny trying to keep Singlish out of my vocabulary when corresponding with them! It's true that barriers are thinner and awkwardness much lesser when conversing through online means. The wonders of technology, huh? This really reminds me of the (absolutely horrendous) NM intro module I took in year 1. :P

Still on the topic of online stuff, I've gotten terribly addicted to Bejeweled. It's such a simple game but so freaking addictive!

...

I would really love to go on a short holiday this hols. Even somewhere as near as Malaysia would be good enough for me. Just a few days out of Singapore, a chance of relaxation and enjoyment. I really hope the trip that we have sort of planned will actually come to fruit.





I want to go on a ride someplace far, far away

I just about nearly died trying to jump rope all the way through the length of one song (Womanizer - Britney Spears). God I am so unfit!

Tomorrow it's two song. Yikes D:

The fire I blogged about this afternoon appeared in the news :O

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20091022/tap-097-fire-hougangs-regentville-condo-231650b.html

Piano hunting was a success, I think I have found my piano. It's actually a brand that I've never heard of until today (Hai Lun) but it's cheap for a brand new piano and I like the sound of it. So I'm going to be terribly broke soon but I can finally really get down to embarking on my childhood dream proper!

ピアノは高いですが、楽しいです！(Gah, me and my broken Japanese. :|)

On the bus to tutoring just now, I couldn't help but notice an enormous crowd gathered by the roadside next to me. At once, without even having to think, I knew that this was a crowd of kaypoh people, and something must have happened. Some were even wielding cameras! Sure enough, I turned, looked up, and saw that a unit of the opposite apartment was on fire.

It was a huge fire, too - I could see the bright orange flames clearly, licking the surrounding walls. The firemen's hoses were sending out strong jets of water, but the flames didn't seem to be backing down.

This brought to me a whole flood of questions, as accidents and tragedies always do. Was there anyone trapped in the unit? I really hope not. What are the bystanders who had filmed this going to do with their videos - post it on STOMP, I suppose? And if I were the victim here, and my house was on fire, what would I grab and run off with?

(After much pondering I decided on my laptop, wallet, phone, certs and diary. :P)

Today was my last tuition session with the p6 girl I've tutored for the past seven months or so, and they asked me suddenly, when I stepped into the house, if I could tutor her little brother Math for that final session instead. I already have lots of experience with P2 Math at Yens, so I agreed. And so that ends one of my tutoring jobs - leaving me with more free time for now, but less money. :/

Speaking of money, I've been spree-ing again. Ordered from some Taiwan spree and another F21 spree. This is what happens when I don't have the time to go out shopping... Perhaps I should consider an ibanking account.

Alrighty, off I go to piano hunt with my dad (though somehow I just feel like sleeping in instead). Hopefully I'll get one this time. Please please please let there be an installment plan! :P

Only references list left. Phew!









It's so hard to believe in something when you're not brought up to do so.
I would like to be less cynical, I really do. but it's really hard. I'm sitting there, and these negative thoughts are forming in my head non-stop, and I want to stop them. But I can't.

Will this be my one last try?



--

While clearing my inbox today, I chanced upon a recipe for apple cider doughnuts. It hit me then how long it has been since the last time I indulged in my favourite hobby. I kept telling myself that I have to get down to baking something soon, no matter what. But in the end I'm too busy to, or too broke to, or I just forget. My bookmarked list of recipes are getting really long and now I just don't know which one to start with.

I'm not going to say that I'll get down to it soon, no matter what, because I know I won't. Not soon, anyway. I always bake during the holidays, but right now... I wish I could find the time.

I've put off trying to make cinnamon rolls for nearly a year now. Wanted to make them last Christmas, but I was scared of failure. But this year, I'm going to give it a shot. Who knows?

Oh well, off to bed I go. Gotta settle the references and watch webcasts tomorrow, monday blues!

I think I prefer writing lit essays to psych ones.

I have the uncomfortable feeling I'm going off tangent, and the many distractions of the internet isn't helping me! Plus, I finished all my study snacks before I even started on the essay. :P

Well, I've just put my tired workers in restaurant city to bed, so... it's back to work for me. Haha.

October's a pretty terrible month, I'm swamped up to my waist. At least there's the long weekend to look forward to - it's finally time I get to catch up with oldest friends!

I've this song stuck in my head. One of my favourite songs back in the SN years, it's still one of those tunes that I can never get sick of.


Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end


I can relate to this song in some of the strangest aspects.

じゃ、しゅくだいをします！

Desire, now, is a combination of old storybooks, billy bombers' cookies&cream milkshake, a huge fluffy pillow and a long conversation about anything and everything.

I've been feeling down since Friday over something you would probably think trivial.
But I'm sick and tired of what is increasingly beginning to feel like a meaningless 20 years and 4 months.